Bullied. My Kid is Just Too Nice

"My child is being bullied because they are too nice."  This is a frequent comment from parents bringing their children to us for help at The Phoenix BullyProof Project and USA Martial Arts. 

The problem is that it is simply not true.  I'll get to that in a moment.

It is tough to see your child suffer the teasing, taunting or cruel comments and treatment by other kids.  Most of us have memories of those awkward school days of nasty remarks and behavior.  While some children are able to negotiate these situations, others aren't so easily able to manage.

Fix The World - Not My Kid
Just recently I had a mother bring her daughter to us to get help and say, "I want my daughter to learn how to deal with bullies and stand up for herself.  I think she's just too nice."  I empathized with her situation and told her that many other children experience the same thing and parents frequently bring their kids to us for the same reason.  I did an assessment and my response to her statement surprised and upset her.

Uncomfortable Myths
"That's not true.  Your daughter isn't being too nice.  In fact, she's not nice at all.  She is passive.  Passive is not nice; it is weak and powerless.  Being weak and giving your power away is not nice or respectful to herself.  Saying that she is 'nice' is justifying a dangerous behavior.  Powerlessness attracts abuse just like in nature as prey behavior attracts predatory attacks."

Passive = Permissive

Statistically we know that children who demonstrate passive behavior are the most likely to be the targets for bullying and many kinds of abuse.  It is a serious risk factor.  Children whom are perceived to be passive and quiet are targeted because they are deemed by predators as least likely to tell, be resourceful or resist.  

Truth is Not the Enemy

The mother looked at me as if I was the enemy.  I could see that she had not had anyone with real experience in resolving bullying situations talk honestly and directly to her.  In fact, it was evident that she was put off by my blunt diagnosis and assessment.  Furthermore, the Mother, at some level, knew she was being passive and didn't like how my comment made her feel as a Mom.  It is much more satisfying to hear that you are a victim than you have some controlling stake in the process and can take steps to change it.

What Most Parents Want to Hear

It's not your fault. Let's blame someone else.  Let's get revenge on all the mean people who hurt your baby.  

Are You Participating in the Abuse Cycle?

"I can tell from your energy and demeanor that you are modeling passive behavior and body language to her.  If she believes she is powerless, then she will continue to be the target for abuse.  It will not change unless you and she are willing to change.  She will have to learn how to stand up for herself by being assertive.  By the way, assertive does not mean aggressive."

Teasing, Bullying, Suffering -  We Provide Real Hope
The pain of being teased, bullied and picked on from being passive is one I am very familiar with. I've been teaching men, women and children how to successfully protect themselves for over 30 years now.  It begins with not giving away our power.  It will be uncomfortable - but very worth it.  It will be a process but we are here to guide and teach.    Your daughter is suffering needlessly.  When would you like to see that change?"

Unwilling = Unchanging
The mother folded her arms and looked away.  I gave her one of my Anti-bullying books as a free gift to demonstrate my commitment to help.  She hung around a bit while I did some role playing with her daughter and then departed.  My prediction is that she and her daughter will continue to have these problems in the future.  You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink.  

Hope

I am confident that one day she will return to us when she has accepted this hard and inconvenient fact.  When she does, we will be ready to guide her and her daughter to greater hope, empowerment and personal freedom from suffering.  Change begins when we accept responsibility and help - however uncomfortable and inconvenient.  Most security, and peace of mind, comes at the price of inconvenience.

John Nottingham is on a mission to empower individuals to effectively protect themselves and deal with bullying behavior with a proven peace process that offers hope and healing.  He is a family man living in the Scottsdale/Phoenix Arizona area.  An Amazon Best Seller, you may recognize him from his appearances in the media as a safety & security expert.  He is the founder of the Phoenix BullyProof Project, International Bullying Prevention Initiative, Nottingham Sword & Shield Security and a 7th Degree Master Instructor of USA Martial Arts Phoenix.  If you are interested in Bullying Prevention Certification or to have him speak to your school, church, company or organization please contact info@usa-martialarts.com   

Best Self Defense Training in Phoenix, Scottsdale, PV Area

A Hidden Self Defense and Self Improvement Gem In Phoenix

Find Out Why People Are Saying John Nottingham's USA Martial Arts is...

"The Best Krav  Maga Self Defense and Fitness Kickboxing Classes in Arizona!" 

Phoenix, Scottsdale and Paradise Valley areas have a hidden gem in USA Martial Arts.  Not only is it a classical martial arts academy, it is owned and operated by John Nottingham, a security specialist who trains military, SWAT and professionals.

"I love teaching Kickboxing, Krav Maga and classical martial arts for self defense and personal development.  Martial Arts classes changed my life and I've devoted my career to doing the same for others.  Men, women and children of all ages learn leadership, life skills, improve strength and build new minds and bodies in our academy."

• Courage
• Inner-strength
• Focus
• Power 
• Speed
• Flexibility

Check out what students say...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvwPcymEdr0

Unlike most corner Karate Dojos or Taekwondo classes, Nottingham's Phoenix USA Martial Arts school is set up to build life skills, rehab bodies, and build essential skills for effective self defense.  It includes training and strategies he uses to make professional soldiers, bodyguards and police officers more skilled at their profession and better able to cope with the stresses of real life encounters.

"I think teaching children has made me a much better teacher.  We have to be more patient, creative and better problem solvers.  Plus, you can't be boring and expect to keep kids attention.  You have to have a special compassion and love for people to be truly effective."

Winner and Nominations
Best of Phoenix
Kudzu Best of Phoenix
Parents Pick
Parent Choice Scottsdale 

"The secret to our adult training programs is in the tactical fitness training.  These movements help rehab the body, protect the joints and make our students more resilient and resistant to injury.  It's a modern form of self defense - self defense, not only against attacks, but of the stresses of modern life."

As seen on
Channels 3,5, 10 and 12
Good Morning Arizona
Bullying Prevention Initiative
Arizona BullyProof Project

For more information on programs for men, women and children of all ages, check out the online Webspecials at http://USA-MartialArts.com and find out why they've won so many awards over the past 30 years.  Oh, and read some of the amazing online reviews and comments by people who have tried it!

USA Martial Arts Kickboxing Krav Maga
Self Defense | Personal Training | Fitness Bootcamps
For more information or an appointment to tour or register call
602-896-8721
info@usa-martialarts.com 

Best Summer Camp for Kids in Phoenix Builds Confidence, Fitness and Friendships!

What could be better for your child than to spend summer strengthening the mind and body?

Not only will your kids get out of the house they will enhance their social skills, share a positive environment with others and strengthen friendships. They will learn practical self-defense, build confidence and practice discipline all which make for a fun safe and productive summer.

This summer let us bring out the best in your child.

" Best Summer Camp in Phoenix! "

Do Your Kids Act Like Karate Kid, Kung Fu Panda and Ninja Turtles Around The House? Enroll them in our life-changing Summer Camp for Kids!

• Keep them off the couch and active!
• Send them back to school with improved fitness, strength and skill!
• Make new friends and learn Bullying Prevention

** Final week for Summer Camp Early Bird Registration Discount **

Be sure to register by this Saturday April 30th to save.
Don't miss out. Lots of fun, training, and life skills to benefit all kids.
No Martial Arts experience needed.


You can also register online.

https://events.membersolutions.com/event_register.asp?content_id=47683

http://www.usa-martialarts.com/summer-camp.php

School Bullying - How To Handle Bullying in 5 Steps

A Practical Tip Guide for Bullying Prevention for Kids, School Teachers and Parents

Endorsed by The Phoenix BullyProof Project, The Bullying Prevention Initiative International, USA Martial Arts 

Build Your Confidence So You Can Remain Calm In Challenging Situations.  Role-play Clever Come-back Lines With Strong Body Language.http://USA-MartialArts.com

Bullying can be rough!  Teasing, taunting, exclusion, manipulation and ongoing threats can truly hurt.  That is why it is so important to counter the negative with positive.  Here are some proven tips to turn around bullying.

Support & Empathy For The Bullied
The most important step in handling bullying is to be supportive.  That is to truly listen to a child and empathize with their feelings so they can feel safe and understood.  Children need a place and relationships to feel safe and loved.  This is best done by parents but can also be done by a caring mentor, teacher, relative or friend.

Bullying Dynamics - The Investigation
The next fundamental key is to do some investigation and understand the problem, facts, perspectives and all of it's dynamics.  Is this normal childhood teasing?  Is this normal childhood aggression?  How can we best help our child learn to put things in context?  These are all important parts of creating the best solution for your child to feel safe, confident and equipped for life.

Life's Not Fair and Bullying Exists
Clearly establish that the notion of 'fairness' is a detrimental path.  Life isn't fair.   People and situations are not always fair and that notion leads many people down a path of victim-hood and pain.  The sooner we accept the way things are, no better - no worse, the quicker we can focus on practical solutions.  That doesn't exclude the importance of making things better, it simply gives us a foundation from which to improve.

Bullying Solution = Love is Greater Than Hate
Next establish the important idea that love is greater than hate.  Love yourself enough to keep healthy, happy and calm in the midst of life's storms.  Love yourself enough to get tools, resources and set healthy boundaries.  Avoid hate because it escalates situations and makes them worse.  Love is the foundation for peace, friendships and forgiveness.  Forgiveness (not forgetting) lays a foundation for reconciliation or at least mutual respect and a happier life.

Buddies - Not Bullies 
Encourage friendship.  The person with the most friends usually wins.  Having friends is safer and better all the way around.  The most powerful person of all can turn enemies into friends.   Try consistent kindness, despite (and specifically in response to) cruelty.  It is very difficult to continually be cruel to someone who is kind to us.

Join a Martial Arts School To Build Confidence and Learn To Resolve Conflict Peacefullyhttp://USA-MartialArts.com

Bullying Victimhood - Don't Give Your Power Away
Our power is that we have the ability to choose how we receive something - how we put it into context.  We can let it better us or belittle us.  We can let it bounce off of us or bang into us.  We can choose to dismiss it or give it great weight.  This much is our choice.  We can even pity the other person.

Hurting people hurt others.  When we see their sadness and bad behavior, we can see that is more of a reflection of how they are hurting and lashing out, not as who we are.  We can be glad we are not like them but compassionate toward a hurting fellow human being.

Bullying Solution - The Opposite Game
Try the opposite game.  When someone attacks you with fire, you want to be water.  So when someone attacks you with hate, you can respond with compassion.  When attacked with bitterness, you can respond with genuine hope.  When attacked with envy, you can respond with understanding and generosity.  When attacked with taunting, you can respond with humor.

Bullying Block - You Are Not Others Opinion of You 
Help children understand that other people's opinions do not determine their worth.  Your values make you.  Your actions based on those values will become your reputation.  You have to think about the long game of life.  Play it so that you are proud of the choices you make.  You're not responsible for the choices others make - only the choices you make.  Make good ones!  You're worth it.  Be proud of who you are at the end of the day.

Bullying Help
If in the rare event that these things don't work after repeated tries, then you will need to move on to the next stage of setting crystal clear boundaries using voice and body language.  Assertion competence is needed.  Practice (role play) saying, "STOP!" and showing strong confident body language.  Square up, put your hands up, take a stance, shoulders back, chest up, direct intense eye contact.  Keep calm and be direct.

Bullying - Be Resourceful 
If the behavior continues after this point, it is time to get resourceful and get reinforcements.  Tell parents, teachers and mentors about the problem and have them give you tips.  Together, you will find good solution to make a positive outcome.

Bully Buster - Common Sense Before Self Defense
Last resort is to protect yourself.  Nobody has the right to abuse  you.  Protect yourself and escape to safety.


For more information on bullying, school talks, bullying prevention or resources contact http://USA-MartialArts.com or John Nottingham at BullyProofVestAZ@gmail.com.   

http://authoritypresswire.com/john-nottingham-tops-amazon-best-seller-lists-with-bullyproof-book/

http://www.amazon.com/BULLYPROOF-Unleash-Hero-Inside-Volume-ebook/dp/B014PWFA3U

http://bullyproofingarizona.blogspot.com/2012/04/hire-bullying-specialist-john.html

BullyProof Summer Camps
John Nottingham's Bully Proof Vest
Bully Proof Schools
Bully Proof Classrooms
Bully Proof Kids
Bully Proof For Life
(602) 896-8721 

TAEKWONDO CHILDREN PHOENIX BEST KIDS MARTIAL ARTS & SELF DEFENSE

Children Taekwondo Phoenix Best Kids Martial Arts & Self Defense

CHILDREN TAEKWONDO PHOENIX BEST KIDS MARTIAL ARTS & SELF DEFENSE IN ARIZONA

Children Taekwondo Phoenix!
Phoenix’s Best Children's Martial Arts and Jiu-jitsu Self Defense Kickoxing Classes in Maricopa, Arizona. Teaching children to have improved self confidence, building kids inner-strength, listening skills, concentration, focus, academic performance, healthy friendship, motor movement, flexibility, health and self-esteem.

Taekwondo Children for Karate Kids Paradise Valley, Cave Creek, Scottsdale, Phoenix Arizona Kickboxing Jiu-jitsu
By KidsLoveMartialArts.com USA Martial Arts Phoenix

Welcome to Taekwondo For Karate Kids Arizona
USA Martial Arts Taekwondo for Karate Kids Jujitsu– AZ Kung Fu Karate Taekwondo Class Training
Providing a safe, exciting and family-oriented martial arts and self defense experience for men, women and children ages 4 and up.

Respecting Tradition But Never Bound By It

USA Martial Arts & Kickboxing has refined an American Martial Arts curriculum that draws on the strengths of several proven systems.  Each style has it's own strength and USA Martial Arts method makes it fun to learn.  You start learning a Taekwondo base because it helps develop outstanding attitude and character.  Then you learn Karate and Kung Fu for philosophical foundation and cultural appreciation.  The jiu-jitsu classes teach effective self defense on the ground for grappling.  The Military Combatives, Jeet Kune Do and Krav Maga concepts build legendary self defense confidence. Kickboxing takes fitness to a new level. The freestyle atmosphere allows for creativity and keeps classes exciting and motivating  so children don't get bored.  You learn to respect tradition but not be bound by it.

Do Your Children Pretend to be The Karate Kid, Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles, NinjaGo, Secret Agents, or Kung Fu Panda?

Our objective at USA Martial Arts Phoenix Kids Martial Arts is to arm your children with the Self-esteem, Character, and Confidence they need to succeed in school as well as in everyday life.

USA Martial Arts & Kickboxing Phoenix

Jiu-jitsu + Taekwondo + Karate + Kung Fu + Self Defense = Mixed Martial Arts for Self Defense & Character Development FUN!

• USA Martial Arts Jiujitsu Karate Kung Fu andTaekwondo classes, Bullying Prevention Self Defense and Confidence Camps are Educational, Fun and Rewarding.

• Our martial arts school is a safe, clean, positive and encouraging environment. (Parents often tell us that is why they choose our school over others.)

• INSTRUCTORS – Click here to learn more about our outstanding staff.

• CHILDREN PROGRAMS – Our martial arts classes for children are a great way for kids ages 4 and up to stay healthy, fit and learn the skills and lessons they need to succeed in school, home and life. With convenient class times and scheduling choices, we are sure to have the perfect martial arts class for you.

• Cross training for other sports such as baseball, soccer, basketball and more. (But nobody sits on the bench in our program!) Plus kids stay in shape all year round because Martial Arts is a way of life and doesn’t have a season.  

* Our instructors have background checks, first-aid, AED and fitness instructor certification.

Click Here for our AWESOME online WEB SPECIAL.

Click here to Learn More about Children Taekwondo Karate Jujitsu Kung Fu Mixed Martial Arts program!

• TAEKWONDO KIDS HOME SCHOOL MARTIAL ARTS PROGRAM – Designed specifically for home school programs, we reinforce the values and character traits you teach at home while providing a fun, positive outlet for energy. 

Click here to Learn More About Karate kids Taekwondo Children or Kung Fu Kids

• CAMPS – Kung Fu For Karate Kids offers rewarding Full-Day Camps, Summer Camps and Vacation Camps that really kick!
Click here to Learn More about Sports Kids Camps

Kung Fu • Wushu • Jiu-jitsu • Tae Kwon Do • Karate • Martial Arts • Self Defense • Fitness • Fun!

Since 1986 USA Martial Arts & Kickboxing staff have been teaching a traditional mixed martial arts program of Tae Kwon Do (Tang Soo Do) and Kung Fu classes to men, women and children of all ages.

• Jujitsu/Jiu-jitsu is a traditional Japanese martial art that encompasses the use of leverage, pressure points, throwing, locking and body manipulation.  You may be familiar with Judo (as seen in the Olympics) or Brazilian Jiu-jitsu (made famous by events like the UFC), or Hapkido (a Korean expression sharing Jujitsu origins) each are branches of classical jujitsu.  

• Kung Fu (Gong fu, Kungfu, gung fu, Shaolin gong fu) is term used in the West to refer to martial arts from China. It was made popular by TV shows such as Kung Fu (where philosophical lessons were made known) and movies featuring stars like Bruce Lee. We also offer a PFS Jeet Kune Do program (Bruce Lee’s system considered forerunner to MMA, the mixed martial arts of the UFC).

• Wushu is the Chinese name for a modern exhibition and full-contact sport based on traditional Chinese martial arts, created in China for all styles of Chinese martial arts. WUSHU is a Chinese term that literally means “martial arts” or “military arts”. Wushu is practiced by millions of people and enjoys status as the national sport in China. (We even do training tours in China to places like The Shaolin Temple and Beijing Wushu headquarters- gym of Jet Li.)

• Tae Kwon Do (Taekwondo, Tae-Kwon-Do), often referred to as Korean Karate, is a martial art that was created in the late 1950’s. Tae Kwon Do specializes in powerful kicks, improving individual character and an indomitable martial arts spirit. (Ask about our students who have trained and competed in Korea!) Taekwondo is also an official Olympic sport.

• USA Martial Arts & Kickboxing Phoenix curriculum is a multi-discipline mixed martial arts for self defense and personal development education. Specializing in teaching men, women and children of all ages it is a safe, supportive atmosphere to learn. Students learn more in less time because the strengths of several disciplines are taught and adapted to individual needs and interests. (We bring in the best of the best Masters, Champions and teachers.)

We Are a Personal Development School Specializing in Developing Character and Inner Strength

At USA Martial Arts Kung Fu For Karate Kids your children will receive a charcter building martial arts education that will emphasize the qualities of Discipline, Confidence, Leadership, Fitness and Respect.

• Our children’s mixed martial arts classes are challenging and fun, motivating every boy or girl to do their personal best.

• More than kicking, blocking and punching. Each day a portion of our curriculum is dedicated to teaching your children valuable lessons such as character, health, safety and self defense they need to succeed.

• Our school oath emphasizes Honor, Humility, Integrity, Courtesy, Perseverance, Respect and always doing your best.

"Karate is the best thing you can do for your child." -Chuck Norris

Here are the USA Martial Arts Phoenixour tenets recited as the principles of Black Belt at the beginning of each class.
“As a dedicated student of the martial arts, I will live my life by the principles of Black Belt.
o Modesty
o Courtesy
o Integrity
o Perseverance
o Self Control
o Indomitable Spirit

How Does USA Martial Arts & Kickboxing Phoenix offer so much?  Simple, an amazingly well educated staff and experienced and unique Master Instructor owner with a rare passion for martial arts.

How Do I Start My Child?
Call 602-896-8721 or
click here
to schedule your childs Free Uniform offer (Limited time offer!)

The six week trial program is a great, inexpensive way to ensure that you and your child love
Kids Kung Fu -The Karate Kid Bully Buster Program.

Call 602-896-8721 or
click here for kids kung fu info
to take advantage of this offer!

Send a request to info@usa-martialarts.com for your FREE Guide

How to Choose the Right Martial Arts School for Your Child

Choosing the right martial arts school for your kids can be a confusing experience. There are a lot of good Taekwondo, Kung Fu and Karate schools out there and even more bad ones. Choosing the right school for your child is important. Choosing the wrong school can leave a bad impression or even be unsafe.

Send email to info@usa-martialarts.com or go here to get your Guide to Choosing the Right Martial Arts School for You.

home | classes | camps | birthday parties | benefits | testimonials
members | contact | adult/teens | FAQ
© 2012 Taekwondo For Karate & Kung Fu Kids Phoenix at USA Martial Arts Taekwondo in Phoenix ARIZONA. All Rights Reserved.

John Nottingham of USA Martial Arts & Nottingham Sword & Shield Security Trainers has over 30 years of experience in the martial arts and security fields.  He is the founder of the USA Martial Arts chain in the metro Phoenix area for 25 years and believes that the highest purpose of a martial arts education is to prepare students for citizenship. He and his team teach their Phoenix martial arts students to manifest the martial arts philosophy into their daily lives. That is how USA Martial Arts Tae Kwon Do has become the highest-rated karate school in Phoenix, Scottsdale, Paradise Valley areas. USA Martial Arts is also one of Google's Favorite Places. At USA Martial Arts the training doesn't stop on the mat; it transcends the mat! If you are looking for Karate Training, Phoenix Taekwondo classes, Arizona Self Defense in Phoenix, Paradise Valley or Scottsdale, visit USA Martial Arts at 4731 E. Greenway Rd., Suite #9 Phoenix, AZ, 85032 located at the SW Corner of Tatum & Greenway Phone: 602-896-USA1 (8721) http://USA-MartialArts.com Email: info@usa-martialarts.com

Fun, Action Packed Camp Gets Kids In Shape, Makes Them BullyProof

The FUN Action Packed Camp That Gets Kids In Shape, Makes Them BullyProof and Gets Them More Confident, Disciplined and Respectful Than When They Arrived...

Best Summer Camp Phoenix!

• Indoor Air Conditioned Environment
• Highly Trained Teachers and Mentors
• Bully Proofing
• Confidence Building
• Leadership Development
• Give Kids an Edge Before Going Back To School
• Improve Coordination
• Build Better Fitness
• Teach Focus and  Concentration
• Make New Friends
• Improve Social Skills
• Proven Beneficial For ADD and ADHD 
• Great Cross Training to get the edge in sports 
• Camp friends, fun and memories to last a lifetime

We teach kids how to defend themselves... but the BIGGEST thing we teach them is how to talk things out. (We call it Verbal Judo and Tongue Fu).

Kids learn how to diffuse situations before they ever become violent.  That's the true power of martial arts.  

Summer Camp Special  http://www.usa-martialarts.com/summer-camp.php

"Best Summer Camps in Phoenix" say Arizona Parents

Our Award Winning Camps Will Teach Your Child:

• Fun and Imagination
• Fitness and Strength
• Adventure and Memories
• Friendships and Social Skills
• Values and Manners

Most summer camps are nothing but games and... more games. Don't get me wrong - games are great for kids! But wouldn't you like your child to also spend their summer growing and learning skills that will help them succeed in life?



Introducing our Martial Arts Summer Camp: The perfect blend of super-fun games, important life lessons, fitness, self-defense skills and more. Your child will not only have a blast... they'll also gain powerful skills and traits to help them get ahead in life. Call now to learn more. But hurry! We sell out fast! (Spots are limited).
Camp Special http://www.usa-martialarts.com/summer-camp.php