Bullying Prevention Speaker Teaches Unconventional Method to Manage Bullying

Free Bully Busters Radio Interview Click Photo

One of the most frustrating things a parent can hear from their child is that they are being bullied.  It is painful and distressing but I'm here to offer you an effective solution that protects your child and gives them lessons that last a lifetime.

Who Am I?
My name is John Nottingham and for 27 years I have taught men, women and children how to protect themselves.  My students have ranged from Bodyguards, Police SWAT, FBI, Military Special Forces to tens of thousands of individuals of all ages.  I know the pain of bullying because I was bullied.  But that all changed when I learned the secret.

The Failed Anti-Bullying Movement
The last thing you want to do is teach your child to buy in to the recent victim culture and failed so called anti-bully programs.  They are doomed to fail our children as much as the same fated Stranger Danger and DARE programs have.  Children fall through the cracks as well-intentioned and ill-advised politicians and bureaucrats form committees and make laws with the promise of protection.  Result? Reports of bullying are on the rise.  A recent study from a PhD in Canada clearly shows the ineffectiveness of school-wide anti-bullying programs. (You can read the SMITH study on my Facebook site Bullying Prevention Initiative International or The Phoenix BullyProof Project).

" We'll teach your children how to become victors rather than victims. "

The Dirty Secret.... Teachers and Politicians Aren't Protection Experts
Age old wisdom and parental common sense from nature proves that we must prepare children to face the world we live in, not the Utopian world politicians and emotional placebo pushers promise.  They continue to pass more laws, put up more NO BULLY ZONE signs while children fall through the cracks.  It's unacceptable arrogance as they push their agenda that often encroaches on Constitutional rights to free speech because they lack the knowledge of how to deal effectively with this behavior.
Our politicians decry the epidemic of bullying, yet they use bullying tactics in their campaign ads and political maneuvering as if it is justified.  I call that hypocritical and empty political rhetoric used for an agenda.  It's about the kids!

We offer hope from bullying!
The reason my programs are so successful is that they rely on psychology (emotional and social intelligence), teach a peace process and address the reality of a bully in your face on a day to day basis.  It covers the full spectrum of online bullying, verbal insults, manipulation, intimidation, exclusion and even physical bullying like hitting, hair pulling, tripping and shoving.  It is so effective because it is a proven process refined over decades.

"You don't need to scare or bubble wrap children.  We just need to properly prepare them."

Face Facts about Bullying
We've all faced bullying to one degree or another. It is a behavior that is part of our social world and living in a community of dysfunction,  differing experiences, coping mechanisms and pathology.  Without effective tools, children are often left to their own devises to cope and attempt to resolve it.  More often, they just accept the pain and damage of bullying because they feel helpless and don't want to get in trouble or lose popularity with peers for being a snitch or rat.  It can lead to some serious long term problems.  Some of you probably know adults who still live in this state of anxiety because they never were taught the skills to handle bullying, violence or aggressive behavior.

If you want more information on how to effectively STOP BULLYING, my programs or organization join us online at:

John Nottingham's BullyProof Vest
How To Handle Bullying Like a Bodyguard
Speaking, Assemblies, Teacher Training, Verbal Judo Tactical Communication, Physical Intervention

The Bullying Prevention Initiative International
Free resources from best practices, protective specialists, research, discussion and more.

The Phoenix BullyProof Project
Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative Sponsored by Nottingham Sword & Shield Security, John Nottingham's BullyProof Vest and USA Martial Arts

5 Things You Should Know About Bullying That Schools Aren't Telling You

The Politically Incorrect Dirty Secrets of The Anti-Bullying Movement

1. Over 85% of Bullying Goes Unreported
Despite Schools best intentions and efforts, there will always be bullying they cannot control. We'll tell you exactly what to do about it to protect your child. Learn the difference between actual security and security theater.

2. The majority of the school anti-bullying programs were developed first to limit the school's liability. Where does that leave the child's safety? Shouldn't children's safety be the FIRST priority?

3. None of the most commonly used bullying prevention programs were developed by professional protectors. Think about it. The good news is that our bullying prevention program program was.

Did you know that the majority of bullying takes place while not in the presence of teachers?

4. Most of the bullying programs taught in schools were developed with a political, legal and social agenda - not a safety agenda for your children. Furthermore some advocate hampering constitutional rights of free speech. Others, often calling themselves "ANTI-BULLY" seek to vilify children with labels such as "bully" rather than identifying a behavior. What if your child is labeled a "bully"?

5. Schools often do not even address physical violence. The only answer most will give is to walk away or tell a teacher. How does this address the scenario of a child being physically abused? We believe every child has a fundamental God-given right to self-defense. Suspension or not, nobody has the right to harm your child. In the absence of practical physical de-escalation skills, children resort to what then know. Look at this example.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isfn4OxCPQs&feature=related

‎"With kids, being protected is doubly important because they can otherwise develop coping methods that are counterproductive. A wisdom from Nature applies: When the dominant do not protect the vulnerable, the the vulnerable seek to become dominant." -Gavin de Becker

Children can learn force appropriate options to protect themselves as a last resort. It is a skill that comes with proper step-by-step training. We can help.

The Truth About Bullying You Already Know From Life Experience

Remember that most teachers and school administrators were the kids who were bullied when they were in school. As adults, most still cannot successfully handle being bullied.* Are they the one's you want teaching your children how to avoid being bullied? You cannot give away or teach a skill that you do not have. Will you leave your child's safety in the hands of your child's school?

Keep in mind that this is the same kind of thinking that took action after the school shooting tragedies like the 1999 Columbine shootings. Their brilliant solution to preventing further shootings? Install millions of dollars worth of video cameras in schools across America.

The sad irony of it is that in bodyguard (close/executive protection) training I had to watch and analyze hours of frame-by-frame footage of school shootings from the VIDEO CAMERAS! The video cameras did NOTHING to prevent those school shootings. We were watching it after the damage took place. This is the flawed thinking and emotional placebo approaches that non-protectors implement.

While professional protectors were offering sage advice on preventing such matters, they often went unconsulted or worse, ignored for the feel-good band-aid efforts of terrified parents and teachers.

The same fear-based thinking and political agenda efforts yielded the security theater we all now endure at the airport. Rather than using proven methods of increasing security (such as training airline employes on PINS, Pre-Incident Indicators, and using the lesser expensive and more effective trained dogs) we now have exorbitantly expensive, line delaying, overly invasive scanners.

This same idea fairy is visiting the bullying prevention movement. For the thinking and more discriminating parent or teacher...

Here's the good news!

The Bully Proof Vest program is a practical method of bullying prevention developed with BODYGUARD STRATEGIES. These are the very same methods used to protect the President, Celebrity VIPS, Judges, and other high-profile clients. They are inexpensive, don't require the school or workplace buy an expensive program, are evidence based and updated.

These Bullying Prevention methods work and that's the bottom line. (They have been for over 25 years.)

To learn more about preventing bullying the smart way, contact

The Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative on facebook

The Phoenix Bullying Prevention Project Training on Blogger

USA Martial Arts Phoenix Click Here

John Nottingham, founder

Here are some interesting Case Studies on Bullying Prevention

This section of the Resource Guide offers a look at what has been learned and accomplished, in five key areas, by the schools, districts and community-based organizations participating in The Colorado Trust’s Bullying Prevention Initiative (BPI):

• Creating and sustaining a healthier social climate in schools and communities
• Building collective commitment to address the bullying problem in partnership
• Implementing prevention/intervention strategies that take into account not just the large majority of kids who neither bully or are bullied, but who witness bullying on a regular basis
• Involving young people as active allies and advocates in bullying prevention efforts
• Developing cultural competency strategies, skills and programs that are inclusive and enhance communication and relationship building.

To find out more about the initiative, click here.

* While we salute the efforts of schools and teachers for taking positive steps towards bullying prevention we simply wish to point out that it could be better. The prevalent systems are simply incomplete. Until and unless a bullying program takes into account the serious issue of physical harm and the need for appropriate physical intervention options, then the program is simply incomplete.

Handle Bullies with Verbal Judo Comeback Lines

USA Martial Arts Bully Prevention Advice

Handle Bullies with Verbal Judo Comeback Lines

Read new updated Bullying Comeback Lines here

Verbal Judo for Handling a Bully by John Nottingham, EPS, 6th Degree Black Belt, founder The Arizona Bullying Intervention Initiative - The Phoenix Bully Prevention Project http://bullyproofingarizona.blogspot.com/

Over the years I developed a highly effective five step method for handling bullies-and it has worked every time in over twenty years of teaching it. I have been bullied and know what it feels like... it stinks. Here are some strategies I teach if the bullying behavior has yet to become physical.

Flip It Around

Judo comes from Jujitsu and specializes in using ones energy against them. In martial arts, science, leverage and strategy are used to give smaller, weaker individuals the power to defend themselves against bigger, often stronger attackers.

Do a Verbal and Emotional Flip!

This lesson applies to not only the physical aspects of martial arts, but in other areas as well. You can use it if someone tries to bully you with words or emotions. Instead of turning energy from a shove into flipping them to the ground, you can use the energy of their words to flip it into something funny or make it a boring flop.

Instead of fighting fire with fire, try using water! Never return insults or show emotional upset because that only gives the bully behavior the reaction they wanted and fuel to do more.

Bully behavior can come from kids and adults in school, work and social settings where people get together. Having strong social skills, confidence and a sense of humor can go a long way in disarming this unwanted bully behavior early before it ever escalates.

What is Bullying?

Bullying is a display of power.

"Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strength." -Eric Hoffer

Should I fight back? Yes and No

YES! Fight back by being so busy working on yourself you don't have time for their rudeness. Build yourself mentally, physically and emotionally. That's just one of the reasons I love the traditional martial arts. It does all these things! But NO, I do not recommend fighting back physically unless it is a last resort and you cannot escape in any other way. Nobody has the right to damage your body. Even then, in most situations you should only do enough to escape.

My favorite way of handling a bully is to make them a friend. This is the first step. At least try to make them an ally.

Who is mighty? One who can make enemies into friends. This holds great power.

Physically fighting back can have serious unwanted consequences and usually leads to more problems. Walking away usually fuels the bully behavior by inadvertently giving permission to their behavior. It can also leave a lot of damaging emotional scars, escalating and perpetuating more harassment.

Show Confidence and Inner Strength

Most bullies don't like confidence because they don't feel good about themselves. Instead of being rude, try being clever, funny and showing inner-strength in unique ways. Developing these social skills go long way in being a harder target and you will find that you are less likely to be the target of bullying behavior.

Humor takes away the power of bullying, "Yeah, that ones so old I heard it in DayCare!"

Role play the your favorite lines, or make up your own. Look them right in the eye. Remember, comebacks are not insults. Don't stoop down to that level or you might invite more problems. Remain calm and say:

1. "Are you talking to me?"


2. "That means nothing to me."


3. "That was low."


4. "Whatever."


5. "Why do you say things like that?"


6. "Feel better about yourself now?"


7. "Feel special now?"


8. "Again??? Are you that bored?


9. "I hope nobody ever does this to you."


10. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard you the first time."


11. "Sorry, my spam inbox is full."


12. "That's kind of funny but enough now OK."


13. "Thats cruel. You can stop now."


14. "Been there, done that. It's old now."


15. "Why are you acting like a bully? You're so much better than this."

Practice saying it with confident body language, proper timing, clear voice, and then rise above it and move on to something as if it wasn't a big deal.

I posted lots more bully resources in this blog. Feel free to get ideas and develop your plan. Above all, take heart and know that other people care and can help you!
_________________

John Nottingham is a recognized expert in personal protection, author, consultant, speaker and a founder of Nottingham Security -Scottsdale Bodyguards- and the USA Martial Arts chain of schools. He resides in Scottsdale Arizona USA and provides professional consultation and training, products, and services related to self-defense, personal security and physical conditioning. A bodyguard, law enforcement and military trainer, he is certified Executive Protection Specialist (EPS).

He has trained in martial arts for over 25 years including Taekwondo, Hapkido, Jujitsu, Aikido, FMA/Arnis, Jeet Kune Do, Kickboxing, Kyusho-Jitsu, Krav Maga, Wushu Kung Fu, Shamrock Submission Fighting, and weaponry. He developed his own integrative MMA or mixed martial arts curriculum designed for the average person to use for self defense and a healthy lifestyle. In his chain of martial arts schools, he and his staff teach men, women and children of all ages self defense and practical martial arts skills in a fun and exciting manner.

Master Nottingham also served honorably in a USAR Military Intelligence Det. of a Special Forces (Airborne) unit where he developed a unique hand to hand combat course for Special Operations Military forces.

He is currently hosting lifestyle and wellness events to train companies and individuals how to increase performance, improve health and vitality for an improved lifestyle. An award-winning instructor, he is a certified fitness instructor, personal trainer, boxing and Yoga teacher. He also is a sought-after speaker, consultant, subject matter expert, entrepreneur, and author.

Bullying Information Bullying Resources Bullying Statistics Bullying Prevention Training How To Deal With Bullying Arizona Bullying Prevention School Bullying Programs ABC's of Conflict Avoidance Best Bully Program
AZ Bullying Prevention Project: http://bullyproofingarizona.blogspot.com/
Bullying Prevention Initiative International https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bullying-Prevention-Initiative-International/240455266014141
Phoenix: http://usa-martialarts.com/
North Phoenix: http://phoenix-martialarts.com/
Children Martial Arts http://kidslovemartialartsphoenix.com/

John http://JohnNottingham.com

* Credit for Verbal Judo to G. Thompson. Who is mighty definition: Dave Kovar

5 comments Bookmark: del.icio.us StumbleUpon Digg

Posted 04:57 PM April 05, 2009

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Comments:

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

Sarah

Comment by Sarah on 08:36 PM April 05, 2009

Thanks for the positive feedback Sarah. I appreciate your taking the time to comment.

I'm just learning this blogging thing and thought I'd give it a try as a way to present different ideas to readers as well as promote my sites and efforts.

Let me know if you have any questions. I'm no writer but I'm giving it my best shot!

-jn

PS You have a cool site.

Comment by John N on 09:10 PM April 05, 2009

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

Sarah

cranfo

Comment by Sarah on 12:22 AM April 07, 2009

I never thought it would be easy this way, all verbal. But I think I have to be confident first before implementing the words given above. This is a great way to fight back without being physical.

Comment by buy wow gd on 01:08 AM April 13, 2009

especially enjoyed the comebacks and have forwarded and provided website to my daughter. she is a beautiful girl who feels friendless and left out from the crowd. she can handle herself well but does need to use these comebacks when they ask her to leave the crowd or by just plain being rude to her. i truly feel her pain but we need to move on

thanks again

Posted by dardar on 11:59 AM June 04, 2009